This. As a writer, I understand feeling like the words are a slog. What you’ve written here moved me to tears. Your paragraph about finding God being in the waves resonated so deeply. Anyone who has left religion will resonate with this. Thank you.
"Maybe God never needed the boat to keep me safe from the waves. Maybe God wants to hold my hand and teach me how to walk on them instead." Oh my gosh YES. Thank you for sharing this. I've been here. Still wrestling through some things but I feel calmer now. I feel that so deeply- he's teaching me to walk on the water with him. HE is my safety- not any boat.
Thank you for posting your words. I’m an Anglican clergy woman and in recent years most of the pastoral care that I do is helping people work through the anger and grief from religious trauma. Yes, God can handle our questions and more. Indeed, God gave us the minds, imaginations, and gift of self to ask the questions themselves.
I always remind myself that Jesus never said it was important to be right about things or to have the correct theology. He only said to love and to serve others. And God never asks for fealty or allegiance. God only asks to be loved as well.
Yes. You are not alone. I too have left the sinking boat and I have hope that we will find each other again as we learn to walk on the water. Even though I spend more time sinking than walking, it feels like.
Wow. This is exactly where I’ve been the past 4-5 years as well. You worded precisely what’s going on in my head and heart, and it resonated with me. I’ve been writing on Substack to process my own thoughts and my own suffering, and I am SO thankful you popped up in my weekly stack email. The Lord brought your words to me. Feels like I’ve been wading through so much muck to find who God really is after years of growing up Christian. I’ll be praying for you on this journey. God is faithful.🙌🏼
Thank you for your honesty and courage to ask questions. Praying that you continue seeking God when he calms the storm temporarily or when He asks you to walk those waves with Him. Blessings!
I stumbled upon this post because of the photo. My hiking partner, Maverick, has bone cancer and can no longer hike with me….it was Providence that I should find it.
My theology boat was dashed against the rocks long ago…Remnants of the wreck still pierce me in places, but Christ continues to slowly and gently remove them. I am ever learning how to walk on waves with Him and it is a beautiful journey. Sometimes, like Peter, I falter and begin to tread water, but His extended hand is always there to lift me up. Thank you for being vulnerable and for seeking to know the very heart of God. Wish we could grab a cuppa and revel together in all we’ve learned on our respective paths. Pax et lux, Fleur
Right there with you. Thanks for putting your thoughts out there and asking the hard questions without having the answers. Earlier this year someone gave me a word that I had stepped out of the boat, and while I wasn't sinking in doubt I wasn't walking forward either - I was looking back at the boat wondering who would join me.
If you have not already found him, I would point you to the writing (and previous podcast, Steve the Builder) of Steve Robinson: https://open.substack.com/pub/steverobinson?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=2j4v1y.
Thanks for writing. I can relate to a lot of it.🧡
Sorry for the hard things you’ve faced, the illness and betrayals…
Amen and amen. Build a space on the other side for others to climb in.
Thank you,
Thank you,
Thank you.
Oh. My. Goodness.
This. As a writer, I understand feeling like the words are a slog. What you’ve written here moved me to tears. Your paragraph about finding God being in the waves resonated so deeply. Anyone who has left religion will resonate with this. Thank you.
"Maybe God never needed the boat to keep me safe from the waves. Maybe God wants to hold my hand and teach me how to walk on them instead." Oh my gosh YES. Thank you for sharing this. I've been here. Still wrestling through some things but I feel calmer now. I feel that so deeply- he's teaching me to walk on the water with him. HE is my safety- not any boat.
Thank you for posting your words. I’m an Anglican clergy woman and in recent years most of the pastoral care that I do is helping people work through the anger and grief from religious trauma. Yes, God can handle our questions and more. Indeed, God gave us the minds, imaginations, and gift of self to ask the questions themselves.
I always remind myself that Jesus never said it was important to be right about things or to have the correct theology. He only said to love and to serve others. And God never asks for fealty or allegiance. God only asks to be loved as well.
Yes. You are not alone. I too have left the sinking boat and I have hope that we will find each other again as we learn to walk on the water. Even though I spend more time sinking than walking, it feels like.
Wow. This is exactly where I’ve been the past 4-5 years as well. You worded precisely what’s going on in my head and heart, and it resonated with me. I’ve been writing on Substack to process my own thoughts and my own suffering, and I am SO thankful you popped up in my weekly stack email. The Lord brought your words to me. Feels like I’ve been wading through so much muck to find who God really is after years of growing up Christian. I’ll be praying for you on this journey. God is faithful.🙌🏼
How amazing that we can take all our questions to God and that he meets us there!
I feel every bit of this. I could not have said it better myself. Thank you!
Thank you for your honesty and courage to ask questions. Praying that you continue seeking God when he calms the storm temporarily or when He asks you to walk those waves with Him. Blessings!
I stumbled upon this post because of the photo. My hiking partner, Maverick, has bone cancer and can no longer hike with me….it was Providence that I should find it.
My theology boat was dashed against the rocks long ago…Remnants of the wreck still pierce me in places, but Christ continues to slowly and gently remove them. I am ever learning how to walk on waves with Him and it is a beautiful journey. Sometimes, like Peter, I falter and begin to tread water, but His extended hand is always there to lift me up. Thank you for being vulnerable and for seeking to know the very heart of God. Wish we could grab a cuppa and revel together in all we’ve learned on our respective paths. Pax et lux, Fleur
Right there with you. Thanks for putting your thoughts out there and asking the hard questions without having the answers. Earlier this year someone gave me a word that I had stepped out of the boat, and while I wasn't sinking in doubt I wasn't walking forward either - I was looking back at the boat wondering who would join me.