Bike Shorts & Billie Eilish

what are you here for?

I’m here for sunny mornings and warm, hazy afternoons. I’m for staying up late after the kids go to bed to bake two quiche so I don’t have to make breakfast for a week. I’m here for googling the plural form of quiche and learning I was both right and wrong. 

I’m here for Billie Eilish songs but this one specifically she sings with her brother Finneas. I’m here for our cat sleeping on my chest at the end of the day because she’s like me and relaxes more when the house is quiet. I’m here for my daughter wearing jean overalls and somehow looking like my baby and her future self all at once. I’m here for my son falling in love with Star Wars and Tolkien and growing up to be the nerd-prodigy of my dreams. 

I’m here for wearing bike shorts¹ and men’s graphic t-shirts all summer without apology. And if you think it’s because of Billie Eilish you’d be wouldn’t be wrong because my girl was on to something. I’m here for changing up my hair because I’m bored with it and don’t know what I’m doing next. I’m here for living in a good body that can breathe and feel—no matter what shape it’s in. 

I’m here for every bush and tree and blade of grass being green, green, green. I’m here for skies full of blue and brightness again. I’m here for the rain coming in like good news and leaving the earth just refreshed as I feel when I hear it. I’m here for the colorful cacophony of birds in the overhead canopies. Apparently, I’m also here for alliteration. 

I’m here for tiny poems on cream pages. I’m here for eating a pan au chocolat the size of my face. I’m here for coffee I make at home and coffee I get out and loving them equally for different reasons. I’m here for breadsticks covered in sandy layers of melt-y garlic and parmesan because obviously. 

I’m here for healthy boundaries–the ones that make you feel a little queasy to establish but safer to live with in the long run. I’m here for standing up for myself even if it feels like I’m speaking in a foreign tongue. I’m here for realizing I’ve really known it all along but some people tried to make me forget. 

I’m here for dreaming about a property with a big ‘ol house where I can take people on walks and let them inhale beauty. I’m here for acknowledging it’s really hard to have that dream and no clear path to making it happen. 

I’m here for showing up to write these words at the end of the day even when I’m exhausted because I hope you’ll see some part of yourself in them. I’m here for using incorrect grammar for this entire post because the way I wanted to communicate something came out this way and I didn’t need to change it. 

I’m here for showing up in ways no one sees but God and He meets me there. I’m here for telling my mind and body, “You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re safe” and maybe starting to believe it. 

What are you here for?

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In my experience, it changes well…everything.

1. These are the bike shorts I’m currently loving. High waisted, ribbed for added texture and sooo comfortable. I wear a medium but highly recommend trying them on in store if you can because bike shorts sizes fit differently on everyone’s individual body.

I’ve also gotten these bike shorts. They don’t come in fun colors but the hidden pocket alone makes them worth the purchase.