As we approached voting day, I attempted to have conversations with the “other side”. For months.
I truly and desperately wanted to learn… still do.
Why do you think that?
Where did you get that info?
Show me where they said that.
Send me the article.
Can we talk about that?
And all I got in return for my genuine questions was hatred.
“Are you serious?!” Was the most common response, always in a condescending tone as if I were the stupidest person they had ever encountered.
Followed by berating, character assassination and ultimately being blocked by friends and family alike.
The assumption that I “loved Trump” because I wanted to understand where people I love were coming from was embarrassing.
I have never been called so many names in my life (and that says a lot after an entire childhood of abuse and bullying).
In my quest to seek understanding and possibly even common ground, I was cast aside, beaten with all of the Trump-hating jargon and virtually left for dead.
At the end of the day, all I can say is it didn’t make me want to “change my mind”.
It didn’t make me want to join the team.
To be absolutely clear, I had never defended Trump or his policies privately or publicly. (Still don’t) But the assumption of such was made simply by me asking questions of the ones who hated him.
There is only so much shoving one can take before they just stop coming back.
I hadn’t voted since George W Bush for all of these reasons… how could I?
Hatred and vitriol from both sides… Can I vote to crawl in a hole instead??
One of the things I grapple with is the way in which both sides speak of things as if everyone knows what they’re talking about.
Even conversations in person have become awkward.. “I’m just trying to do my best with, you know, everything that’s going on…” like I’m supposed to know what that means for them… there seems to be very little human connection anymore.
Maybe the way I’m going about it is completely wrong—I am completely open to being told that I am and receive pointers on how I can do better.
I am always cognizant of my tone and never ask the aforementioned questions in a way that I am sure will upset someone.
I just feel like in all my searching I have been made to feel like I am the “wrong one”.. and that now I need to be punished for it.
If anyone has made it this far in my comment, thank you.
Thank you for seeing me.
Thank you for hearing me.
And thank you for helping me learn how to be better. My ultimate goal is kindness and understanding. And I am open to whatever one wants to share with me.
P.S. I did follow the links at the bottom of the note and hadn’t seen the golden statue… quite disturbing in so many ways.
And the link to the other Substack note was intriguing. Especially coming from a Christian point of view. I know I have so much to learn…
I guess I’ve just been in a state of shock for the last year because of how I’ve been treated by both sides…
This is a great article. I really resonate with your background and the journey you went through to get here. I went through a lot of the same steps and the last ten years especially have been hard to watch.
Great post Breanne. I hope people hear and understand you. There's too much negativity around already, people have become so polarised and reactive. I'm atheist but I guess we just have to believe that good will prevail, if we all keep doing the right things, like caring for people and being kind.
Breanne, I feel SO similarly. You said these things so well and I appreciate your honesty, compassion, and courage. I've had a parallel sort of post in my drafts since the election, and of course there is so much more to say now 💔
I was also raised in evangelical culture. It’s so hard to step out of it and see other perspectives, but I’m so grateful for everyone I know who has done that work. I’m with you—I know I’m not doing it perfectly, but I’m doing something and that’s better than idly watching as things fall apart.
I will NEVER understand the actual crickets I heard from my personal Christian community in regards to the golden statue. Never, ever. If Biden or Harris had done such a thing prayer meetings would have been called. Pitchforks sharpened. And basements stocked with canned goods. (No. Joke.)
And yes, a country is NOT a business. WHY is this such a prevailing excuse?! 😩
Thank you for this. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that the "dangerous other" (great phrase, by the way) is not someone who believes differently than me, but someone who believes there is only one right way to believe.
Thank you. I needed this. I'm having a hard time not stinging people who don't think for themselves and follow like zombies. I know this isn't productive. Bee stings don't effect zombies, they only waist my precious time and energy.
It's time to make honey and store for the future. 🩷 Carry on the good work. Your words make a difference.
It gives me so much hope to hear from people who, like me, can't ignore this man's nonsense. It makes me feel not crazy and gives me hope that our country's current trajectory is not permanent.
This is a great piece, specifically because it gives me hope that Christians raised in the most fundamentalist (no judgment implied on this, just couldn’t find a different adjective) of ways can come out of it and remain Christians and embrace the ideal that we are all human, and loved, and known by name, and worthy of care, and that we are our siblings keepers, and that whatever we do to someone we are doing to Jesus. I appreciate you putting it out there. As a retired Baptist pastor working full time with immigrants and refugees, I appreciate your words. I admire your knowledge of Tolkien lore, but your manifestation of Christian love even more.
Yeah, I relate to all of this and so appreciate your heart and your journey. I’m determined to speak because I think the church in America needs to see people with clear faith AND a clear rejection of this political path. But at the same time I’m trying to preserve boundaries for my emotional and mental health. It’s a fine line.
All of this Breanne. I too was an arrogant but secretly anxious little homeschooler who had all the answers, and have had a similar shift. We do well when we all do well together, Christian, non-Christian, etc.
Been having thoughts like this since around COVID… not quite the same upbringing as you, but similar… and I’ve gone through a similar process. I really appreciate you putting this out there!
90% of this could easily have been from my own journal. Thank you for sharing and making me feel just a little less alone.
As we approached voting day, I attempted to have conversations with the “other side”. For months.
I truly and desperately wanted to learn… still do.
Why do you think that?
Where did you get that info?
Show me where they said that.
Send me the article.
Can we talk about that?
And all I got in return for my genuine questions was hatred.
“Are you serious?!” Was the most common response, always in a condescending tone as if I were the stupidest person they had ever encountered.
Followed by berating, character assassination and ultimately being blocked by friends and family alike.
The assumption that I “loved Trump” because I wanted to understand where people I love were coming from was embarrassing.
I have never been called so many names in my life (and that says a lot after an entire childhood of abuse and bullying).
In my quest to seek understanding and possibly even common ground, I was cast aside, beaten with all of the Trump-hating jargon and virtually left for dead.
At the end of the day, all I can say is it didn’t make me want to “change my mind”.
It didn’t make me want to join the team.
To be absolutely clear, I had never defended Trump or his policies privately or publicly. (Still don’t) But the assumption of such was made simply by me asking questions of the ones who hated him.
There is only so much shoving one can take before they just stop coming back.
I hadn’t voted since George W Bush for all of these reasons… how could I?
Hatred and vitriol from both sides… Can I vote to crawl in a hole instead??
One of the things I grapple with is the way in which both sides speak of things as if everyone knows what they’re talking about.
Even conversations in person have become awkward.. “I’m just trying to do my best with, you know, everything that’s going on…” like I’m supposed to know what that means for them… there seems to be very little human connection anymore.
Maybe the way I’m going about it is completely wrong—I am completely open to being told that I am and receive pointers on how I can do better.
I am always cognizant of my tone and never ask the aforementioned questions in a way that I am sure will upset someone.
I just feel like in all my searching I have been made to feel like I am the “wrong one”.. and that now I need to be punished for it.
If anyone has made it this far in my comment, thank you.
Thank you for seeing me.
Thank you for hearing me.
And thank you for helping me learn how to be better. My ultimate goal is kindness and understanding. And I am open to whatever one wants to share with me.
P.S. I did follow the links at the bottom of the note and hadn’t seen the golden statue… quite disturbing in so many ways.
And the link to the other Substack note was intriguing. Especially coming from a Christian point of view. I know I have so much to learn…
I guess I’ve just been in a state of shock for the last year because of how I’ve been treated by both sides…
There’s always room for new beginnings.👣
This is a great article. I really resonate with your background and the journey you went through to get here. I went through a lot of the same steps and the last ten years especially have been hard to watch.
Thank you for writing what I imagine many others in your country feel. I would certainly be having similar feelings if I were in your position.
Great post Breanne. I hope people hear and understand you. There's too much negativity around already, people have become so polarised and reactive. I'm atheist but I guess we just have to believe that good will prevail, if we all keep doing the right things, like caring for people and being kind.
Breanne, I feel SO similarly. You said these things so well and I appreciate your honesty, compassion, and courage. I've had a parallel sort of post in my drafts since the election, and of course there is so much more to say now 💔
This. This. This. Every single dang word of this.
I was also raised in evangelical culture. It’s so hard to step out of it and see other perspectives, but I’m so grateful for everyone I know who has done that work. I’m with you—I know I’m not doing it perfectly, but I’m doing something and that’s better than idly watching as things fall apart.
Thanks for taking the time to write this ❤️🩹
I will NEVER understand the actual crickets I heard from my personal Christian community in regards to the golden statue. Never, ever. If Biden or Harris had done such a thing prayer meetings would have been called. Pitchforks sharpened. And basements stocked with canned goods. (No. Joke.)
And yes, a country is NOT a business. WHY is this such a prevailing excuse?! 😩
(The bees are buzzing here too…)
Thank you for this. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that the "dangerous other" (great phrase, by the way) is not someone who believes differently than me, but someone who believes there is only one right way to believe.
Thank you. I needed this. I'm having a hard time not stinging people who don't think for themselves and follow like zombies. I know this isn't productive. Bee stings don't effect zombies, they only waist my precious time and energy.
It's time to make honey and store for the future. 🩷 Carry on the good work. Your words make a difference.
It gives me so much hope to hear from people who, like me, can't ignore this man's nonsense. It makes me feel not crazy and gives me hope that our country's current trajectory is not permanent.
This is a great piece, specifically because it gives me hope that Christians raised in the most fundamentalist (no judgment implied on this, just couldn’t find a different adjective) of ways can come out of it and remain Christians and embrace the ideal that we are all human, and loved, and known by name, and worthy of care, and that we are our siblings keepers, and that whatever we do to someone we are doing to Jesus. I appreciate you putting it out there. As a retired Baptist pastor working full time with immigrants and refugees, I appreciate your words. I admire your knowledge of Tolkien lore, but your manifestation of Christian love even more.
Yeah, I relate to all of this and so appreciate your heart and your journey. I’m determined to speak because I think the church in America needs to see people with clear faith AND a clear rejection of this political path. But at the same time I’m trying to preserve boundaries for my emotional and mental health. It’s a fine line.
All of this Breanne. I too was an arrogant but secretly anxious little homeschooler who had all the answers, and have had a similar shift. We do well when we all do well together, Christian, non-Christian, etc.
Been having thoughts like this since around COVID… not quite the same upbringing as you, but similar… and I’ve gone through a similar process. I really appreciate you putting this out there!