I’m a worst case scenario person.
When I’m in a healthy mindset, this means I’m good at planning ahead and being prepared. I’m an effective communicator and problem solver.
When I’m in an unhealthy mindset, being a ‘worst case scenario’ person is exhausting for me and anyone else in my immediate vicinity. I micromanage. I’m riddled with anxiety. I lose a grip on hope and fall into despondency.
My desire to anticipate—and protect myself from—the future is something the Lord is continually sanctifying and growing me out of.
I barely remember not being an anxious person. As a child I would make myself physically sick when worrying about what could happen or how people would perceive me. It was crippling.
Because the harsh reality is, no amount of preparation ever kept me from avoiding suffering. I live in a broken world. And no amount of preparation can ever soothed my anxious soul like trust in the Lord will.